Susan Strangling Wolf
Susan's Old Story
Susan's Message
To get to know your culture, you need to find an elder you feel comfortable with so you can go to them and talk to them. People wanting to know about their culture should take tobacco and some print with them for the elder. It is not always necessary to bring tobacco. That depends on the person you get help from and what sort of advice you are seeking, and also the type of help that the elder can give.
For women who want to bring up their children in a good way, they have to be very gentle. You must always care about your children. It is your responsibility as a parent to talk to your children. Always leave a lot of time for your children. A part of your responsibility is to never leave your children without someone to talk to. They should be told by their parents whom to seek information from; parents should teach their children how to ask for help.
When I asked Susan about how to deal with anger or other strong emotions, she said, "Traditional people do not get angry with their children. They do not get angry with anyone. They must have patience with people, especially when they are trying to learn about the culture."
In regard to family relationships, Susan stated, "It is the responsibility of the family to learn to trust one another. There are many people who have a great deal of difficulty staying close. Family members need to support one another and learn to guard the family's safety closely."
Children are very important to traditional people. Susan was clear about the role parents need to take. "You should always help your children, no matter how old they are. You should also listen to one another and care about other family members and the things they are concerned about. I spend a lot of time with my grandchildren. I have raised four of them and am raising two right now."
Susan's advice about how to make marriages last and be good was consistent with other teachings. "In a marriage, it is important to do things together. If you do things separately, then things tend to fall apart and don't stick together. You have to stay involved in each other's lives to make things work."
For advice about a person's role in community, Susan referred to her parents' practices. She said, "My parents helped other community members out a lot. They spent a great deal of time helping other women and families with their work. My parents went down to the school to help teach. My parents also helped with hides and drying food and teaching beadwork. My parents sort of put together their own little society of community people. My mother would teach other women how to take care of themselves."
To be a good woman, you must carry yourself as a good woman and you must be honest with yourself. It is not right for a woman to walk with any man she chooses. It is also important for a good woman to pass on information to younger women about being good women. A good woman must learn to judge a man properly. She must decide if he can raise a family properly. Would he take care of his children and would he treat women properly? He should keep her and her children from starving and abuse. Women should be raised so that they recognize those traits and respect them.
The woman's responsibility is to do good beadwork and always keep the house proper and clean. A good woman takes care of all the family members, including parents and relations. It is important that, if others from the home go out to work, she keep a good home for them. A woman should be proud of her work. When work responsibilities are undertaken, all family members benefit, and this should be respected.
There is equal responsibility between the woman and the man to keep the house safe and secure. A woman must ask the man certain questions about what he knows about living in a good way. The woman is expected to carry herself properly, respectfully always. The woman is the heart of the home. The woman is the person who creates and maintains the atmosphere of a home. If the woman works outside the home, it takes away from the home. It is up to both parents to work hard no matter what the circumstances to make the home strong.
A woman should always take care of her monthly times. She should not handle meat or hides during this time. If she works the hides or handles meat during these times, it affects the hunter's ability and this could make the whole family starve. She must always respect herself.
In the case of family decisions, the woman makes those decisions and the man will respect her. The woman is the leader in the family. However, the man can make decisions, though a good man would want to do this in accordance with the woman's choices.
